When the grey goo warms.. (Ace/Aro musings)

I'm Ace/Aro, it's just how I'm wired. Just like the 'trans thing'. The issue of being trans for me is like a solid printed circuit. It's wired sure but its so solid messing with it would destroy who I am. The Ace/Aro bit is a bit more like a cable. Every so often something comes loose.

Now my wife is cute. I know this because I study attraction. She has an appreciable amount of conventional beauty. That might sound backhanded. If you knew me well you'd know it's far from a veiled backhanded compliment. If you take offense from that I can only empathize with the fact you feel that way. Trick is, sometimes, I avoid looking at my wife because I fear one of the cables will pop loose This is not to say I fear it would invalidate my Ace/Aro identity. It doesn't. Even if one could argue that it technically does. I don't feel any different about her or my relationship with her afterward. But...

It happened a bit ago. I just caught her mid smile and -POP-. Out goes a cable. My body reacts from the physical attraction. I know it does because it does things it -never does- otherwise without extreme measures. If I had to participate sexually with anybody else and I was specifically barred from using my partner as fantasy material to get the train moving then the force required to simulate me would be wasteful amounts of porn, physical stimulation and dirty talk.

My partner is an ounce of prevention a few dozen pounds of cure would be needed to reproduce.

Here's the cute (and by cute i mean irritating) bit; when I get blood rushing to fun bits of my body (specifically because of her) it goes to three places, in this order:

1) nose (like I'm a f!cking anime character)

2) tits (both at once)

3) la saucisse de la dysphorie

1 is the most annoying. Because it had to be pointed out to me..

Blood rushes to the vascular system in my nose the little hairs in there stand on end. It tickles. Sometimes I sneeze. If I do it's just after blood gets to my tits. So I extra feel it and have a mini climax. Very embarrassing.

2 is less an issue. Bras and layers do a lot to hide nipple boners. But if my nose tickled badly enough then I'm in trouble and it can feedback. This has caused nosebleeds in the past.

3 gets interesting. Because right about the time I might be experiencing nasal blood loss the boys down at Mission Control decide it's prime time to launch that rocket. Depending on what I am wearing this can be anything from mildly annoying to physically irritating to very painful. This also happens (like any well designed rocket) in stages.

Not funny.

Luckily she's the only known trigger outside of weapons grade porn, petting and cunningly erotic linguistics. A situation I'd not endure voluntarily.

So we come to the deconstruction phase. How does this Demi switch affect our relationship? Sadly it means I have to take precautions should I so much as glance at my own partner. Because I don't know if my body will react and to what degree. Luckily it's had no lasting negative effects. Most of the time she's unaware it even happened. If I could predict these incidents I think I'd feel much better about giving her spontaneous attention.

Because what woman doesn't love well timed spontaneity?